Angling for Fine Fish: Secrets of Seducing a Straight Man

Mike Szymanski
7 min readApr 14, 2020


By Mickey Skee

A rugged fisherman took me out on his rowboat to the middle of a lake, grabbed my oar and pole, and ordered me to take my clothes off.

I was mildly attracted to him, but I thought he was completely heterosexual, and I really did thought we were out there only to fish.

“We talked about going out alone on the boat together, right?” he asked

“Yeah,” I said.

“I told you we were going to be on a lake alone with no one around,” he added.

“Yes, sure, but — “

“And then, you got into the boat,” he said. “That sealed the deal, now strip.”

He explained that there are three major steps to fishing:

  • Dangling the Bait: Make sure you have something that is fine bait and worth snagging
  • Hooking the Fish: Getting the fish to take the bait that could either mean the moment of no return or scampering away
  • Reeling Him in: Assuring that you’ve got the person in a vulnerable spot and it’s unlikely he’ll ever go back now. You’ve got him.

“This is the way I get my fish,” said the fisherman. “And this is the way I seduce guys. It doesn’t matter, straight, gay, unwilling, young, old, and this is my formula.”

And so, I was caught. I yanked off my shirt, and my pants came down as I stood up in the boat and he popped my cock into his mouth and he sucked me off in the middle of the lake. It was rather beautiful and serene, and as I came all over his face, I thought about writing down his philosophy and testing his method of seducing straight guys.

So far, it’s worked every time.

Here are a few scenarios you can find yourself in:

Watching Sports Together

It’s always great to watch sports together with your hopelessly heater buddy who will slap you on the rear during a great play.

  • Dangling the Bait: Make sure that the only place that you have him sit is right next to you. Have the dogs sit in the other chairs, or put the beer and Cheetos there, so he is forced to be next to you during the game.
  • Hooking the Fish: At some suggest that it’s very hot in the house, and that you take your shirts off.
  • Reeling Him in: If the game ends up in a frenzy, he may pop a boner unexpectedly (straight guys tend to do that), and there’s your chance. If his team loses, you can say, “Your team sucks, but that’s not always a bad thing. I suck, too.”

Then, he’s yours.

Going Swimming Together

Whether at a secret water hole, or a private pool, getting your hetero friend wet makes him an easy mark.

  • Dangling the Bait: You’re going swimming but you forgot your bathing suit, so you say, “It’s just us, we can go in our underwear.”
  • Hooking the Fish: He agrees, but you remember that you don’t wear any underwear, so you are stark naked, but he’s in his tighty-whities and is a bit shy about it, but swims in them anyway.
  • Reeling Him in: He decides to finally shed his undies too, but you’re underwater so neither of you can see your hard-on or his growing one. You plop down at the edge of the pool or on the sand on your back, with your raging boner flopping up to your bellybutton in front of you and act rather nonchalant.

If he sidles up next to you and does the same, you’ve got him.

Working on the Car

If you got troubles with your gear shift, or need a lube job, and your straight friend offers to help, there’s a way to put yourself in the driver’s seat.

  • Dangling the Bait: Offer to help, but you’re going to wear overalls with nothing on underneath so that you don’t get your clothes all greasy.
  • Hooking the Fish: When he’s under the car, you help by handing him the tools but set yourself in between his spread-opened legs.
  • Reeling Him in: Your overalls strap keeps coming loose and falling, giving him fresh views of you in semi-nudity. When you hand him the tools, you sometimes brush him in between the legs, or spill oil on his crotch area, requiring you to wipe it up.

If he doesn’t pull away when you’re wiping, you may find yourself needing to clean up some more liquid goo soon.

At a Wedding

The girl may be his ex, or someone he dated, and he’s got regrets for not being married himself, or he is recently divorced. After all, he’s at the wedding alone.

  • Dangling the Bait: You ask him to help you go soap the windows of the newlywed’s car and tie shoes and cans to the end of it.
  • Hooking the Fish: He comes out with you, but after the benign vandalism of the car, he breaks down, or slumps in kind of a depressive state, sitting on the curb in his rented tux. He lets you comfort him with a hug or arm around his neck.
  • Reeling Him in: You offer to bring him another beer, or something stronger, and suggest taking a walk in the gardens to get away from everyone else.

Even if he reluctantly nods an “Okay” you’ve landed him.

After the Game

You’re sweating it out on the field, throwing the ball, kicking the ball, dribbling the ball, and you’re all finished, but you notice that he has a strain on his shoulder, or better yet, his thigh or calf muscle.

  • Dangling the Bait: “I’m good at working those kinks out, I took a class in massage one quarter in college, and I’ve gotten rave reviews.” He complies.
  • Hooking the Fish: “I’ll need you to take your shirt off, and maybe your pants to make you feel more comfortable. I can get to the muscle easier.”
  • Reeling Him in: He says, “I’ve got another muscle here that needs attention” and he moves your hands down to his crotch.

In the Dorm

The close quarters allows you to hear almost everything your roommate is saying and doing, particularly when he’s talking dirty to his girlfriend, who lives out of town

  • Dangling the Bait: You tell him how hot it is when you overhear his sexting with his gal pal, and how horny it gets you, imagining her.
  • Hooking the Fish: He admits that he gets really horny when he gets off the phone with her, and that’s why he’s usually running down the hall to the showers to jack off.
  • Reeling Him in: You tell him what a waste that is, and that you’re always willing to offer him a helping hand. After all, it’s not gay if it’s just getting off together.

At the Dog Park

You see a cute guy with a dog, and your dog sniffs his dog’s butt and they seem to get along. You laugh about it with him. He likes your dog(s) and you say you take great photos of people with their dogs, and show him a few on your phone.

(I have a Dachshund, so it’s very easy to make “Wanna see my wiener” jokes I can use to gauge his reaction.)

  • Dangling the Bait: I suggest that he come over to see some more of my photography, or perhaps even pose with his dog, no charge.
  • Hooking the Fish: He comes over, and accepts a beer, and/or a joint and makes himself comfortable and asks if he should get more comfortable for the photographs.
  • Reeling Him in: Suggest that he pose shirtless, or nude, and without his dog. And then, maybe you just drop the camera.

On the Beach

You see a hot guy with a really tight bathing suit that shows off his love bulges and you tell him that your wife/girlfriend wants you to get some more sexy bathing suit, and that one is perfect.

  • Dangling the Bait: You ask where he got the bathing suit, and can you take a look at it a bit closer.
  • Hooking the Fish: He doesn’t know the size exactly, and allows you to look at the label just to make sure.
  • Reeling Him in: You let your hand slip a bit and brush his balls, or revealing pubic hairs.

If you are so bold, you may ask to try them on in the bathroom near the parking lot. If he even considers it, you’ll be going home with sand in your face.

On a Hike

You’re with a friend, or see a stranger, who you’d like to get closer to, and perhaps see what’s inside his shorts, or smell the inside of his hiking shoes.

  • Dangling the Bait: You feign a slip or twist or fall, and tell him you’ve sprained your ankle.
  • Hooking the Fish: He helps you to the side of the trail, perhaps in a more remote section of the woods.
  • Reeling Him in: You ask him to help you massage out the tightened muscles of your injury. If he lends a hand, you can only expect his hand will travel more.

On a Plane

You stretch seductively so that your feet touch the guy’s next to you and maybe he sniffs a bit of your pit and you complain rather matter-of-factly how these overnight flights make you intensely horny.

  • Dangling the Bait: You put the thin blanket that the cute steward gave you over your crotch and make sure he can hear your zipper going own.
  • Hooking the Fish: He watches your hand bob up and down under the blanket as you groan gently. You notice he’s looking and you suggest he do the same to join in the fun.
  • Reeling Him in: If he’s bobbing under his blanket too, it’s only a simple reach under to help him out. Make sure your arm rest is upright, like you and he are, too.

This is part of a series of mini-Kindle and paperback books from the Mickey Skee Hardcore Diaries. This one was just published as Seducing A Straight Man: Best Tips, Hints & Twists on Boffing a Breeder



Mike Szymanski

Journalist, writer, activist and bisexual, living with Multiple Sclerosis and Dachshunds in Hollywood.